the "dear John" letters part ii

Marcia's letter in the album. Each letter has a colorful fake "postage stamp" sticker. The full text of her letter appears below.

Here's the second of three "Dear John" letters to coach John Topliss, as explained in the April 29 blog post. This one is from team member Marcia Plante. 

English as a Second Language
After many years of solitary service as coach of The Villages Track Club, John teamed up with a qualified colleague, Rick Riddle (who was almost as pretty John and Ray), to train the wide array of runners, jumpers, and throwers. While John was back home in Britain, Rick would initiate new routines, workouts, and rules, all of which would create some confusion and adjustment upon John’s return. Perhaps the most humorous was that of lane assignments and usage.
 
‘Twas a warm and sunny morn as the “early bird” track club finished their stretching session and proceeded to the track to complete their warm-ups. John, dutifully enforcing the new lane rules, called the members to line up in lanes 5 and 7. As the runners divided into two separate lines and approached the staggered starts, one man had positioned himself well up front in lane 8.
 
John quickly advised “You’re in 8.”  The members politely ignored John’s rapid enunciation as did the man, who held his ground. With a look of concern, John repeated “You’re in 8, chap.” As the man innocently questioned “Here?” John pointed to lane 7 and retorted, “No, there.”
 
The club members could no longer contain themselves and drifted out of their lanes as the chap slowly proceeded to the rear in lane 7. Totally confused and humored by the club’s reaction, John said, with a sheepish grin, “What did I say that’s so funny?” Only then did he realize that his upbeat sentence structure altered the intent of his expletive, thus commanding the poor chap to urinate in lane 7.
 
The moral of the story is “If you’re in 8, don’t urinate!”
 
Respectfully submitted,
Marcia Plante