How I'm wasting my summer vacation, part 3: doin' da door

Campground ladies' restroom song, doo dah, doo dah

This shop's claim to fame is "Guns and gold -- a unique combination."

Last month we made our annual pilgrimage to Door County, WI. You can’t miss it on the state map. That little pointy thing jutting into Lake Michigan – it looks like Wisconsin stuck its finger into a pencil sharpener – that’s Door County.
 
Most visitors flock to the area for its quaint villages, beautiful harbors and forests, and slow pace. They don’t latch on to the weirdness just beneath the surface. That’s my job.
 
Some oddball attractions from the 2021 tourist guide:
 
The Fruit Loop Run, in which participants “pound the pavement for a grueling 1/53 marathon around Fish Creek.”
 
The Roofing of the Goats Parade. At the start of the tourist season, several goats are walked through the streets of Sister Bay, then placed atop Al Johnson’s Swedish Restaurant. All summer long they’re content to munch the grass-covered roof, to the amusement of diners waiting to be called for seating. “Donner, party of eight”… “Donner, party of seven”… “Donner, party of six,” etc.
 
The Cherry Pit Spit, which “challenges lungs, tongues, and spitting techniques. With an endless supply of cherry pits, the spit will never run out of material.”
 
Incidentally, Door County calls itself a peninsula, but it’s really an island. Years ago, to accommodate larger boats, a canal was dredged near the tourist area’s southern border. Hubby and I are working on a scheme to blackmail the tourism bureau with this devastating expose.

Leah Rewolinski